Romance of Rain instead of Fear

Its raining!

This morning I was suppose to go in and work at the church. However, after I got there I found that Dan had to rush to the doctors and wouldn't be in, I hope its nothing serious, but it did give me the morning back. As I got back into my car it started to rain. Now being that Im in Southern California this is a BIG deal in late June. I like summer rain showers. Its funny to even hear myself admit that. With having had so much tragedy associated to rain in the past few years its hard to believe that I can actually enjoy myself in the rain.

As I was driving out towards the coast to get a couple of errands done lightning started to fill the sky and thunder shake the ground. Usually, or should I say up until now those kind of sounds have left my heart very uneasy. It still does my younger girls. I immediately got a call on my cell from the girls wanting to make sure I was aware that it was thundering outside. I smiled at their fears knowing how REAL they were and are. Fear can grab hold of our hearts and stop us from experiencing life. I quickly assured them that I would be home shortly and that I was just going to run a quick errand. They relaxed as soon as I walked in the door. But I couldn't wait to get back outside. I did shoot a couple of pictures of the clouds. To me they looked as if God was inhaling and getting ready to blow or sneeze at the earth. Funny how our imaginations get get ahold of us. I think thats what fear is. Letting our imaginations just run wild. This made me start thinking.

Lately, I have relaxed a lot with all that is entailed in being in a relationship. It is so easy to allow my imagination to start to run wild with thoughts about what ifs and whys that fear takes ahold of me. I think that the scars of my past have taken foothold too many times in my crazy mind, but lately trusting in Him seems easier. Relaxing and allowing God to work in my life and shape my life is so much easier when Im not trying to take hold of that steering wheel. I'll be the first to admit though I probably try to take it back a dozen times each day. But thats a huge improvement over the 2 or 3 dozen times I use to be at. Baby steps. It also gets easier to stop fighting (mind games and questions) and just enjoy what is before me today. The blessings we have today can be forgotten of wanting something and or the fear of tomorrow. I have before me 4 beautiful blessings (my children---of who are fighting right now with each other but we will just forget that little tidbit ), I have a roof over my head, a mortgage payment I can make, a vehicle to get me to and from places, a vacation that starts in just 3 days. While I am scared in some ways of what this vacation ahead means.....my children meeting Dennis, his children meeting me and the kids meeting each other...... God will use this time to answer many of those fears and questions and rest my heart....that much Im certain. So I can grab hold of today and enjoy the antisipation of tomorrow, or I can try to take that steering wheel back and do it my way. This much I've learned. My way, well that runs me straight into a brick wall.....I don't want to re-experience that once again.

So my advice to all who may stumble here: Enjoy the day as it is, take time to open the windows and breathe the air that God has made for each one of us. (I realize on a raining day its much more enjoyable then in 100 degree weather) Look around you and find one thing worthy of being noticed and dance in the rain. The kids may think you are crazy, but what a boring life we would have without a bit of craziness to keep it interesting!


Quote of the month/year/my lifetime! :

"If you want to know real joy in life, then be willing to let pain tutor your soul." Paula Rinehart Strong Women, Soft Hearts