Can you control happiness or does it just happen?

If you had asked me things I would have been nervous about doing in my life ahead a few years ago, bringing someone home to meet your parents would not have been on my list. That wasn't something I would have ever thought I would have been facing doing again. Its funny how life changes.

This weekend the kids and I brought Dennis out to meet my parents. He didn't know till afterwards that I had been a little nervous about doing this. I fessed up after the fact :P Maybe its the people pleaser in me, but when I care about people in my life I want them all to get along. Its probably the same reason why when my ex gets the kids all riled up like he did tonight it bothers me, I want my kids happy, not stressed over the stupid things their father says or does. I care deeply for both my parents and Dennis and really hoped they all would 'snap'. Silly now in looking back how I was nervous about something I really had no control over. People will either 'connect' or they won't. Worring about things won't get you any closer to solving the issue. Worring wont make someone happy. I suppose Im still a slow learner when it comes to this. Maybe its simply I just want everyone to be happy. I wonder if thats really possible. Does that make me selfish for wanting that? Is everyones happiness about me or them? Something I think I have been learning more in life recently is this, I cannot control weather someone else in my life is happy or not. I cannot bring happiness into someones life. I can let go and just let happen. I can keep my eyes focused upward. I can let happiness enter my life. I can be happy, and that often times is the start of a trickle down effect that allows others to be happy. But I cannot control the level or amount or timing of. Its not me, its He. Let be.

:) yes one of my nonsensical moments