Floundering for Air

Last week was the first official week of 'school' in that all the kids were attending, all going different directions, awanas, piano, me redecorating a bedroom, and well about another dozen items going on at the same time. I did get a fresh breath of air getting away this past weekend with Dennis in Laughlin. Shopping for boats, looking at motorcycles--Harley's--, stopped by a Toyota dealer to test drive that new FJ (which they didn't have in stock........grr) we were DREAMING big and having fun window shopping like crazy. We even stumbled onto a Stock Car race happining in Havasu that weekend and I got to sit and watch my first in person live race. Too Cool! Its funny when you think about how exciting it is to watch those cars speed up FAST and crash over and over and over again. But I loved it!

That weekend lifted me out of last week and gave me a fresh breath of air, something I needed desparately. This week Im back in the thick of it, but its going smoother. Most of the rough edges smoothed out, the fact that I am no longer the primary teacher for my son, but more of an assisted coach along side him, the girls easing in and getting their work done without as many tears, and well me with a fresh look. That is until I got the call.

My ex wanting to take the kids into Mexico. Ill admit it, I haven't been able to sleep a wink. For many looking at it objectively they might even think its a good idea, going to an orphanage and all, but you have to know my ex, like I do, and realize it won't be what he is painting it to be, and Ill admit it...Im scared. Dennis was so good to let me just 'cry' it out last night, but I think after weighing all the pros and cons, talking to those who know my ex, and well considerable amount of prayer, Im going to tell him no. But thats the part that scares me the most. Saying no to him, and facing the possible lashback. Last night I was telling Dennis that maybe it was just another lesson of me needing to learn to let go, but maybe just maybe its a brand new lesson of learning to stick to my convictions and not let fear run me over. Keep me in your prayers as I give this another night to consider and pray and that I make the best decision I can.

Floundering I am! With a brand new addition hitting our family on Friday! Yes my children finally get to have that puppy they have been begging me for for 3 years! :) I expect to get very little sleep over the next few weeks :)