Choices

"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it."

Last night during dinner we had one of 'those' conversations. One of those conversations that leave you praying that God gave you the right words to speak and convict in your children's hearts.

The kids and I are sitting down for dinner (the spectacular spaghetti meal that I had spent hours preparing....ha ha) While eating, one of the kids ask..."Is Chandler our step brother or half brother, since dad adopted him?" Gulping my food down my throat I prepared to answer the question, one that many parents face today after divorce. I explained in terms the best way I could that he was still their step brother...... of course this leads to Ashley piping up..."yeah but Amanda and Chandler (both of their step mothers children) are half brother and sisters too." Thanks Ash! That causes more questions, and where I had to hold my tongue back when I explained that their step mother had made some back choices when she was younger and pretended she was married and had Amanda. Two different fathers, for two different children all before the age of 30. Andrew pipes up, thats because Amy (the kids step mother) her parents were divorced too. This is when the conversation really began.

I thank the Lord for last weeks sermon up in Arizona. The pastor there did a sermon on if our path was already set by our parents or not.

Bottom line is it comes down to choices. We can follow in the path set by our parents, grand parents and even that of our great grand parents...or we can choose...a better path. I did my best to bring this up and chose a different way to explain it to my kids. First I asked them this..."So since your mother and father are divorced, does that give you the right to seek divorce one day in your marriages ? " A resounding "NO!", good I'm doing something right with these kids! Then I brought it around to a different way of looking at it. "Let's say you are living in a non-believing family, like many are, does that mean you can't ever come to know the Lord?" Of course the kids knew the answer to that one too....."NO!". So do we ever have an excuse to live our lives a certain way because our parents or grand parents did? Absolutely NOT!"

The conversation at that point turned once more, I wanted to take this opportunity to drill more into my children's hearts why Divorce is so WRONG. They know the biggest reason why, they know it goes against God's will. Is that reason enough? I want them to know inside of their hearts to look for someone who is passionate about not allowing their own hearts to ever go in that direction. I don't want quitters in the lives of my children. This is something I am passionate about. So we talked about the scars.

Lee wrote this up in his blog not to long ago..."I don't want to endure the pain that comes with scarring just so I can remember past events, but I'm also not afraid of getting them because they are evidence of a life that has been lived. "

I really like what he said, it has been something I have really put a lot of thought to. Yes, I have scars in my life I will live with the rest of my life. I will be more cautious to trust, I will be easily convinced I'll be cheated on, I will easily think the worst of myself. Scar tissue. But without the scars in my life, I wouldn't be the woman I am today. We all have opportunity to make choices each and every day. I want my children to look back at our time together and say, wow mom had it rough, but wow she really did the best she could. She set the right example for us, even in the midst of having 'life' dumped upon her. Mom, she lived her life. Isn't that the most we can hope for?

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost