Emotional

Im wearing almost 2 inch heels in this photo...so you can see how tall he is.

Todays been an emotional day for me. My son is 14 today. I have now been a mother for 14 years ....I feel old in some ways, young in other ways, emotional in a lot of ways.........my life with him is almost over. Ok maybe over the top a little, but really when you think about it at 14 what do I really have left to teach him, or work with him on. I know my life is an example to him, but am I leading an example worthy of emulating? Will he be able to look back and say, "Wow, mom had it rough but she kept on fighting for us no matter what!" ? Will he think of me as being something he would want to find in a wife of his own? Honestly do I want him to look for someone with my character or not (scary thought in some ways :))

To top things off, he is officially taller then me! Grrr! Im not short, I refuse to think of myself as short...but being 5 4 1/2" is no longer taller then he is. I usually wear heels now just to feel like I have the ability to look down at him, but watching him bend down a little to hug my mother today was too much! He's not to much taller, 5 '5" is my guess but he is only 14, that means he will still keep growing! Ah well.

My son makes me smile most of the time. He has the ability to think about others that not all kids his age do. Don't get me wrong he can be very self absorbed (especially while playing a game on the computer or PS2), but then again can't we all. He has a heart of gold. And for living through all he has these past 3 years with me, I love him all the more for that.

"Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream?"

"Practice can make perfect, but it's passion that persuades."

"Passion... it's the atmosphere, the noise, it's the time, the taste, the smell, and the sense of being. I think it's being alive at a point where it's so joyful it can almost be painful."