Flying and Crashing

Gazing out the window from my grandmothers study to get away from the reality of what was happening, my eyes wandered over to the huge date palm tree that sits in the back yard. As I was watching it my eyes got misty and begin to see a 10 year old girl swinging from one of the hanging dead palm branches screaming, squealing, giggling, laughing harder and harder ....higher, higher and then suddenly ..............creak, snap, crash.... the branch broke off and that girl with the long brown hair flew high in the air and landed promptly on her rear.

Laughing as hard as I could I was in pain but the pain of the fall couldn't match the fun of flying high in the air before gravity finally took hold and down I went. Isn't that the way life is, the higher and higher we get, ultimately we have to come crashing down, or tumbling down, and sometimes if we are really lucky.....rolling down. Its the landing that is the toughest part, but how we choose those branches, can often mean the difference between a hard landing and a softer one.

Packing up my grandmother to move her into an assisted living arrangement is harder then I could have imagined. I can't even begin to think what it will be like the day I have to figure out something for my parents, that leaves me so grateful that they are still young enough I can hope that I have a long time before worring about that.

What has become more and more evident to me as I process all the emotions that are and have been going on in my mind that my grandmother moving out of her home, off this hillside my familiy lived on for so many years, that its time to move on myself. I have found a bit of 'security' wrapped up in living in the same area I have always lived in. Knowing my neighbors, knowing that I grew up with their children and having the schools I went to just around the bend. My life was turned upside down 4 years ago, but I have a sense of peace living where I have lived. Its become more and more evident to me though as the months have gone by that the advice a friend gave me years ago, to move out of this home, and start fresh is something I need to face. Something Im getting closer to facing. Something the Lord has been preparing me to face. And now, something I am now ready to face. I have faced one challenge after another since my ex walked out on us. Each one of those challenges has made me a much stronger person in ways I didn't know I was weak. Having security based on where you live isn't something we should base our security on. The Lord has shown me that over and over again.

So my family moves on, has been moving on, and now its time that I face that 'fear' and prepare to move on too.So here I am Lord. Ready to move where you will move me, ready to follow you where you lead me.