What am I looking for????

Warning! Emotions attached!

I should be doing my classwork, but I suppose Im a tad too emotional so Im writing. I did however finally capture some great shots today at the Flower Fields and also down in San Diego. Im not sure if they are 'great' as in Photography great, but all the same I felt good about many of the shots I got. (Note: I did finish my photography assignment...Ill have plenty of time tomorrow with the kids gone to finish the other --hopefully...as I bite my lip)

So tonight I have been thinking.....dangerous I know.......Luke and I had a good conversation last weekend. He has been a great friend to reconnect with.....its funny how you can have people resurface in your life later on and take on a new role. He and I have been through the same sort of deal....both of us now on new paths and he is easy for me to talk with. So he asked me the question.....have you put together a list? A list? I asked....knowing right away what he was talking about but at the same time, Im just good at playing the dumb blonde :P

A list, this is the same darn conversation I have had with Neek way to many times.......a list of what I am looking for in a 'potential' spouse. Arrrgh why is it I struggle with this?

I know, because it seems to conforming? Hmm maybe, or maybe its because If I did or were to write a list I know darn well most of the men I have dated in some sort or another in the past 2 years would probably not come close to filling that list............but what am I looking for? Kind of appropriate I suppose when you consider the time of year this would have been for me. April 15th....a date for so many that has always held a huge significance............Taxes!!! For me it use to hold another. Im at peace with that now and honestly 'happier' in many ways then I have ever been. Im blessed with so much I wont dare complain. I have friends, children and family I wouldn't trade anyone's spot in the world! Im content with where the Lord has me. But I wont lie, I miss having someone to 'share' that life with. Not just in words, not just in evenings out...but in the true sense of what share means.

So tonight I had been thinking about Neeks and Lukes 'list'........here's what Ive come up with so far, and in now way is this in an order of importance.....YET :) ---thats for Neek if/when she stumbles across this to NOT give me a hard time over :P)

• Solid Relationship with Christ (a believer, fruit showing from their walk, etc)
• Determined in spirit (when he has a goal he goes after it)
• A man who won't throw in the towel, or cut his losses short.
• A simple romantic.......if you need that explained, easier in person :)
• Someone whom I can talk with and share easily with and vice versa
• A man willing to take chances (risks even --just with common sense applied I do have four children to think about you know :P)
• A man who can challenge me in my thinking and even point out my areas of weaknesses without being hurtful
  
• A man who will pray with me
• A man who enjoys laughing..........I love to laugh!
• A cup half full person
• A man who would pick playing a game, talking or doing something over watching tv
• A man willing to admit to a few of his weaknesses (God knows I wont admit to all mine :P)
• Somone I could easily sit and do absoluetly nothing but stare at the stars with (ok ok that falls under the simple romantic area :P)
• An encourager
• A man with integrity
• A man
  

Thats where Im at. Not to long, I could list out stupid little details that would be nice, but honestly that stuff is really of no importance. Maturity is......but that seems demeaning to list...and makes me feel old, and Im not so I won't list it, but its there. I did finally succumb to doing the eharmony deal a few months ago. Honestly I haven't been impressed at all with it. (But to make most of my friends encouraging me to try this happy....I succumbed) There are so many issues about I haven't liked, but I did like the personality profiles. It did also do a compatiblilty profile....this is the top areas (not all...to many to list) it came up with:

Some of your ideal mate's strongest personality characteristics are:

He tends to be caring compassionate and sensitive towards the needs of others.
His friends consider him someone who can be trusted and relied upon.
He generally does his best to be honest in all situations, even when it can be difficult.
He has a very good sense of right and wrong, and almost always tries to be the best person he can.

Some important qualities that your ideal partner brings to the relationship are:

He loves to spend time catching up with friends.
His easy conversational manner makes him a great companion.
Avoiding an argument is almost always preferential to winning one in his view.
He is always respectful of the beliefs and feelings of others.

Important goals and values for your ideal mate in a relationship are:

Sharing in family activities and outings is one of his joys in life.
Sharing his faith with his partner is very important to him.
There are many trends and fads that he doesn't agree with.
Being passive or failing to do his part is unacceptable to him.

Neek thought the entire report that came up sounded more like a woman's traits then a mans........shes right...but there were a few points that stood out to me.--and let me add this! I don't like being matched up by a computer process. I think I have gone down a couple of wrong paths in the past and would like to avoid doing that again. Id like to think that maybe I have finally learned. At the same time, Im happy now. Im content with where Im at.

Curious what it said about me? I suppose its pretty accurate...but again only a glimpse :P

• You have a basic need to be supportive of others. You will agree with others, sometimes even if it's not what you really want.


• You tend to be a traditionalist, and will enjoy the social environment best if it is stable and predictable. You dislike sudden decisions about where to go or what to do, preferring to think things out first.


• You prefer a warm, friendly environment free of conflict and hostility. In that environment, you prefer reassurance of your involvement and self-worth.


• You tend to be loyal to others. Your loyalty shows in a variety of ways including your "staying power" with relationships and activities.


• Others may perceive you as being undemonstrative and self-controlled. Not wanting to be the center of attention, you generally support others.


• You may demonstrate positive possessiveness by developing strong attachments; however, you will not be overly involved as some others tend to do.


• Because of your lenient and complacent nature, others with fewer scruples may take advantage of you. You could, perhaps, benefit from greater assertiveness.


• You are a good friend and are always willing to help those you consider to be your friends. You also show strong ties, and will be uncomfortable when separated from your friends for an extended period.