Can't sleep

I tried..........I really tried! I tried to go to sleep but for some reason my mind is spinning tonight. I know what part of the deal is, my birthday is around the corner....looming.......sitting there, haunting me. Seriously....I don't know what the deal is this year, but 38 is really scaring me. I don't feel 38, I feel 30, ok 33 :). The past 5 years have to a great extent flown by. What have I learned in life so far? Shouldn't I be happily married? Shouldn't I be thinking about someday ......somehow.........what if? Scary thoughts.

My closest of friends...........are all out of state, and while Im tickled peach :) that Ill get to spend this weekend kinda sorta with Neek........that still leaves next weekend. Grr long distance I want to complain, but I've learned this in my ALMOST 38 years here, not to take for granted what you do have complaining about what you don't have.

So Im up, awake, tossing and turning...........dreading the fact that in less then 2 weeks......Ill be OLDER! In numbers but not in spirit. I just wish I could figure out why that number 38 sounds sooooooooooo much older then 37? Why!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Ok I've said my peace, for tonight. I think Ill pop in Sleepless in Seattle..........it will most likely put me to sleep :)